Monday...week 4

Here we go with another week. I weighed today and thankfully I didn't gain anything. Unfortunately I didn't lose anything either. I kinda let myself go on the last three days. I had enchiladas one night. Then the next I had pizza...but that was only after I spilled my soup everywhere. I was so friggin upset. I think it was another time I ate with emotion. Yesterday some of my family from Indiana came down and I kinda went a little nuts. It didn't start out as going crazy but it ended that way. I went to the gym tonight and I didn't work out REAL long but I know I got a good one in. I think I overdid it on my right side. I did my upper body tonight. Tomorrow will be my lower body. I got a lil over two and a half weeks before my reunion. I'm hoping I can drop another pant and shirt size. I feel quite guilty about not even really attempting to meet my goal. I wanted to be below 300 this week. I think somewhere deep down inside I started to self-sabatoge my program. I don't know why...fear I guess. Tomorrow is a new day. Hope all goes well. I have a feeling I'm gonna be REALLY sore!!

Thursday...week 3

Today was so much better than yesterday. I cheated and weighed myself today. I've lost another pound. YAY! I went over to my moms house before work and I was wearing some clothes that I hadn't worn since I had gained this weight. I walked in and both my mom and my sister gasps. I immediately thought that there was something on me or wrong. Both were like "omg you look skinny." Ok I know that I am nowhere near my goal weight or being skinny. I don't want to be skinny...I want to be healthy. And yep yep there is a big difference. It felt absolutely awesome though to hear what I heard from my family. Tonight after work I came home and decided I was gonna try on some clothes I hadn't either ever worn or haven't worn in a long while. I discovered that I have lost one shirt and pant size!! SUPER STOKED!!! This makes me want to work even harder to make sure I continue on this track! My self-esteem and self-confidence is working itself back up to higher levels. Lovin it!!

April 21

Today has been somewhat of a bad day. I had the worst dream last night about Kesh. Then I fell back to sleep and the dream continued. I hate how dreams or nightmares will play on you throughout the day. I will say though I put on a different pair of jeans today that I had forgotten about and now they are too big to wear lol. Work was ok...nothing overly exciting lol. I had bought a brand new bike yesterday and was jazzed about riding it tonight after work. I came home and messed with it for like 20 minutes to air up the tires and put the headlight on it. So I start riding it and OMG...the seat was killing my ass!! Once I realized that I wasn't going to be able to ride the damn thing my self-esteem and self-confidence went to hell. I was hoping that this was going to work. I've always liked riding when I was younger and I thought that would be a good way to get into shape with something I like. Shew with things being painful. I'm just at a point in my journey that I want the weight to just drop off. I know it takes work...hard work at that...to get to where I want to be. I think I'm gonna just chalk this up to a bad day. Here we go tomorrow!!

Monday Week 3

Here we are starting week 3. I weighed myself yesterday and I was kinda disappointed to see that I hadn't lost anything. I didn't gain anything but the thought of not losing anything was somewhat disturbing. I wasn't supposed to weigh until today...but I was sitting there and it was before work and I thought oh why not? I had started my lovely period yesterday so I guess I wasn't all that shocked. I did weigh myself today just to double check and there it was...I lost 2 more pounds. YAY! That brings my total to 10 pounds in two weeks. I have a goal in mind this week. Right now I'm sitting at 307...my goal is to lose 8 lbs this week. I would love to be under 300 by this time next Monday. My pants will be falling off of me lol. I have so many clothes that I have never worn. I can't wait for that to be a possibility. Lots of hard work lie in store for me for that to be a reality...but I know that it's in me to do it!

Friday 16th

Yeah I know...I've been neglecting my page. LOL I haven't however been neglecting me. I'm still going and beginning to feel the effects of this venture. I have noticed over the past couple of days that I have a little more energy. Nothing extreme...but I can feel something lurking there!! Also to a bit of good news...Kesh had gotten me a pair of pants for christmas this last year and they were a little tight in the butt. I put them on yesterday and they fit!! I was so friggin happy! When you can get into clothes you knew were too small for ya...yeah I think that is true progress right there. It's what keeping me motivated. I am excited to see what the scale says come Monday morning. I haven't done much in the way of exercising but my eating is pretty spot on. I know that I have to eat every 2 hrs or so. If I don't I get CRANKY!! I've really been watching my calories. I do not go over 2000 in a day...PERIOD! Although sometimes I swear I could eat the whole cow. When that happens I drink a water and eat a yogurt or something...seems to help. I have without really thinking about it stayed away from red meat with the exception of last tuesday. I had some penn station and don't worry I counted all the calories for it.:) I didn't like how I felt the next day however. I wasn't going to the potty like I should've been. I now eat turkey, chicken, and tuna...well if I ever fix it I'll be eating tuna. Subway has been my best friend through a lot of this. Low calorie subs with all the veggies...GOOD STUFF!! My sister has joined the good fight as of today. At least I think it's today. Regardless shes on board. Shes taking a different approach. I know that she can do this...I just hope she knows that she can.

Monday night

I didn't eat badly last night but I didn't eat all of what I needed to. I woke up with every intention of eating something immediately. I was trying to get to town as quickly as possible to get to the bank before it closed. Well because of that I didn't actually eat anything until almost 7 pm. Yeah it was late. We grilled out again. Which by the way is an awesome way to cook. I love this weather because of it. I cut up yellow, red, and orange peppers in a pie pan. Put in chopped onions with whatever seasonings you would like. In a seperate pan I cut up two chicken breasts and one smoked sausage. I seasoned that as well. In the kitchen I made a pot of rice and in a seperate pot I put some beef broth and tomatoes with some water together. I let it all boil together. Once all was done I grabbed a bowl and mixed everything together. It was quite tasty. But in all reality it was roughly 700 calories. Way too high for one meal I know. Around 11 I needed to eat something again. I went and made what was left of the meal and it tasted horrid...lol. It didn't warm up well apparently. A couple of hours later I had a little debbie. So I guess you can kinda chalk last night up to a semi-cheat night. All and all I consumed close to 1150 calories last night. I walked for 30 minutes which equaled 1.2 miles. PROUD OF ME!!! It equals 215 calories burned. YAY!!

Monday--WEEK 2

Alright people so as much as I was somewhat dreading it, I weighed myself today. I have lost 8lbs since last Monday. Why was I dreading it? Well I know I'm about to start my period and I know from that your body will retain water. I also feel very bloated. So in my head I was gonna get on the scale and maybe have lost 2lbs or something. I'm super stoked that I lost what I did this week. I did have some challenging days. My mom and I got into a very heated argument the other night. You know, one of those my mom is mad at me and it's the end of the world arguments. After we decided to call it a night I was bound and determined to eat some chocolate. At first Kesh was like, "what are you doing?" I told her that I was having this little debbie and that was the end of it lol. So I suppose I could be labeled an emotional eater...at least that night. Yesterday my mom and I worked our issue out but not before I went to sonic and grabbed an ice cream cone. I know maybe the first week was ok to do that in due to the body shock. This however is going into the second week and im sure my body will not be holding back any punches. I'll have to be a bit more conscious of my actions. Well I just wanted to share my bit of news with ya today. I'm gonna get for now. I want to thank each of you for your continued support in my journey.

Last Night ( day 5)

On Fridays I work both of my jobs. I typically have to be at Papa Johns somewhere around 10 that morning and usually clock out somewhere around 3ish. Most of the time I will go home and try to take a nap before going to my other job at 6. Now that I'm trying to watch what I eat and all that good stuff yesterday proved to be a challenge. I try to eat every two hours and to drink as much water as possible. Now I don't know if it's because I'm about to start my period or what but I was friggin hungry yesterday let me tell ya. I knew that I needed to be eating smaller meals to keep my energy going. I tried that but at the end of the night my stomach wasn't having it anymore.

Breakfast
Fiber 1-150 cal
Ham sandwich-200 cal
.5 l water

Lunch
Lean Cuisine Pizza-340 cal
Milk-260 cal

Dinner
6 inch turkey on wheat all the veggies-285 cal
Milk-110 cal
20 oz. water

Snack/I WAS HUNGRY
Total cereal-210 cal
Beefaroni-460 cal
1/2 ham sandwich-100 cal
.5 l water

TOTAL-2115 calories

Well after I added all of it up I suppose it wasn't as bad as I thought. I really don't know why I was so hungry. It might be from peeing like every 30 minutes or so. Who knows? I still haven't found to have a whole lot of energy just yet. I'm still tired more than I want to be. Slow steps though ya know? This week I've kicked caffeine. Although today I found myself wanting a pop really bad, but I chose against it. Next week I am hoping that I can replace the bad habit with a good one. Such as finding a workout that I love. As I said before I'm going to try water aerobics...maybe even water zumba. Tomorrow is my weigh-in and I'm not gonna lie I'm a bit nervous. More to come later tonight!!

Day 4

OMG how important is sleep? Let me tell ya...I haven't had a good nights sleep in a while now. It is very hard for me to sleep if it's hot and it has been with the exception of last night. Last night we opened our window and put our fan in it. About 6 this morning the birds start chirpin. I was like omg SLLLLLEEEEEEPPPP! Eventually I just tuned it out and slept for awhile. Then some time later this morning there were some little chicks that seemed like they were right next to my head. People honestly buy cds that have these noises on it. Maybe I should record em and sell it lol. Today was my first day without a headache. Makes me quite happy. I suppose that means that the caffeine is out of my system which is a very good thing. I've been getting a lot of awesome feedback from you guys and it is all awesome!! I am taking everything everyone says and letting it sink in. Ok here's a question for you guys...what does it mean when the muscle next to your shin hurts to even touch? I noticed it hurting after my second day of walking/run. I talked to someone else about it and they said it might be my shoes. One night I wore an older pair of new balance and the second night was a newer pair of new balance. It hurts quite a bit.

Breakfast
6 inch turkey w all the vegis, oil and vinegar all on wheat.-315 cal
Milk-220 cal
1 alli & 1 multivitamin

Lunch
6 inch turkey-315 cal
Applesauce-80 cal
1 alli & 1 multivitamin
.5 l water

Dinner
Pasta w/prego-300 cal
Ham sandwich-250 cal
.5 l water
1 alli

TOTAL-1480 cal

Oh and Miss Jaime I did look at the website and I signed up. ;) Thank you all for your words and support!! I'm really wanting to weigh in already. I'm not supposed to weigh in until Sunday. TEMPTING!!!

Day 3

So last night was brutal. I know that I had said that I felt pretty good but shew I was so friggin hungry last night. I didn't want to eat anything else because it was getting pretty late. It was so hot in my room. Made it quite difficult to sleep well. Shew and drinking all that water made me get up three times throughout the night to pee. As long as it works I suppose I will have to make due lol. I had a wicked headache last night from not drinking any caffeine. Kesh gave me a SIP and I really mean a sip of Dr. Pepper. It tasted horrible, but my headache disappeared. Today has been rather decent. I DID over do it a bit calorie wise but from what I was eating to what I did eat today, it's a welcome change. I went to a website for female bodybuilding the other day and it gave a spot to see how many calories I ingested each day. It was like 4600 calories a day to continue to maintain my body weight. *insert dropped jaw here* Yeah I was shocked too when I read it. So now I'm trying to stay under 2000 at the max. I really don't want to go over 1700...but it is day 3 so there is a learning curve to everything. Note to all I DID NOT exercise today. I know bad bad bad.

April 6, 2010

Breakfast
Swedish meatballs (Lean Cuisine)-330 cal
2 toast-180 cal
1 alli & 1 multivitamin
.5 l water

Lunch
Lemon pepper fish (Lean Cuisine)-340 cal
Applesauce-90 cal
1 alli & 1 multivitamin
.5 l water

Dinner
Foot long sub-700 cal
let, tom, banana pep, onion, light chz, and roasted chicken on wheat
.5 l water
.5 l water

TOTAL-1640 cal

I wouldn't say that this was a bad day or that I fell off the wagon. I will say that I should've done more and to think out things a little better. But all in all not too shabby for just the third day. I hope everyone has a good night and I will be talking with you tomorrow.

Day 2

Let me catch you up on last nights events. I did attempt to ride my bike but because it is such an old bike, the chain kept slipping off so I just walked/ran instead. I didn't stay out long but what I did do felt nice. I'm still alive!! In the short time I was out there I did manage to burn 140 calories, so that is something. It's more than what I did the last time I tried to diet. Slow and steady, slow and steady. Kesh said something today that made me think. Now I know that she didn't mean it in a bad way but it really did open my eyes a bit. She said, "I think you would rather be fat and be with me, than be skinny and be alone." This was said when she threatened to comment on my blog and tell everyone that I hadn't exercised. It was her little way of making me do it...which worked by the way. I called the pool today to see how much it costs to go to it. Found out while I was on the phone with them that they have water aerobics and water zumba. I really need to look into that zumba thing...it's everywhere! Kesh really wants me to go to the water aerobics so I think next Monday I will.

Tonight Kesh and I walked for about 15 minutes. Nothing over the top...just getting out there and getting used to it. While we were walking though a thought accured to me...this is gonna take forever to accomplish! I knew that going into it but tonight while I was doing it I was just like, "holy hell I've got a long ass road ahead." Staying positive though, that's the key to any major success in life...right?

Alright here's how today breaks down food wise.

Breakfast
Bowl of Total with 2% milk-210 cal
Piece of toast-90 cal
1 alli and 1 multivitamin
.5 l of water

Dinner
Pasta with Prego-400 cal
4 oz. of chicken without skin-180 cal
1 alli and 1 multivitamin
.5 l of water

Snack
1/2 ham sandwich-110 cal
1 alli
.5 l of water

.5 l of water

Total-990 cal

Didn't hit my calorie mark for the day. Needed to be at around 1200 but I'm not complaining. I'm actually not too hungry. Calorie burn for what I walked tonight was 90 calories. I also walked wal-mart and cleaned house. Maybe I did more than what I know how to calculate but until Monday we won't know lol.

Also wanted to add that I talked to my aunt today and she is sticking by her word in working down to not smoking. I am very proud of her and I love her very much!!

Day 1

Today was my first day on my new journey. Thus far I am very happy with how the day went. I did get a lot accomplished for the day but I didnt however sleep very well the night before. Due to the weather I haven't at the moment had the opportunity to ride or walk outside. The weather is supposed to clear up around midnight and that's when I am planning to attack it. I am planning on posting pics, but that will only happen once I start seeing some results or at least feeling it. I will attempt to post on here everyday. I will post what I have eaten and my exercise for the day.

Tomorrow I will start my multivitamin and Alli. I will also be incorporating more fruits and veggies in my diet.

April 5, 2010

Breakfast
Fiber 1 bar-150 cal
16oz. water

Dinner
Foot long Roasted Chicken sub on wheat-700 cal
let, tom, onion, banana pepper, oil and vinegar, and light cheese
Sweet tea-150 cal

Supper
Bowl of Total-250 cal
2% milk-120 cal
applesauce-90 cal

TOTAL-1460 cal

Starting weight for April 5, 2010: 317lbs...NEVER AGAIN!